Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
