chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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