meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
