Don't make out with my wife yet
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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