when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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