don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
