Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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