either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
