I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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