at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My ass is underappreciated
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
