i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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