you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
