fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
