Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
