Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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