i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
