we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
