I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
