'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
