Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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