Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
