He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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