please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
