Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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