I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
