Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
