You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
bring money and cleavage
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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