take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
