Sponge bath it is.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
