You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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