dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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