Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
