guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
