thus making me awesome and them whores
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
