We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
