I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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