i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I wear drunk well.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
