Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
