He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Let's get the cat blown out
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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