He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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