Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
