Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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