you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
as a side note pls kill me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
