I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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