i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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