he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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