It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
