you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
