I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
