"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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